Mystique of the Monkey

into the twilight I go.

2005-11-02T14:33:00.000+10:00

josh is no more. he is gone. all but a shadow of his former self is left.

in 9 days he will be 20.

this makes him sad.

his teenage years are almost over.

he needs to go out with a bang.

something big.

something he will be remembered for.

something he will remember.

email him at teh.jdogg@gmail.com with your suggestions of crazy, wild and cheap things he can do to see his teenage years off.

Lord of the Scones: Return of the Scone King!

2005-10-22T15:35:00.000+10:00

Indeed. I have returned home from the land of smelly work, Gay chefs and copious amounts of oil to return the supreme victor. Not to mention I now hold claim over more land in my path to world domination via the humble scone. IT SHALL BE YOUR DOWNFALL PITIFUL HUMAN WORM BABIES!

My week has been rather busy lately. I've got a grand total of 37.5 hours of work this week. which is pretty good, i can say with absolute certainty that my pay this week will be larger than my old manager at KFC. MWAHAHAHAHA! Scone King wins again! I'm too evil. *grins manically* i've had very little sleep. i've been averaging somewhere along the lines of 4-5 hours of sleep a night. However the longest period of sleep that i've had without waking has been 1.5 hours. except last night, which was 4 hours of continuous sleep. Once again, the Scone King Rules Supreme! w00t.

work today was freakin' awesome! I got to spend the day showing a new dish-pig how it all works, so i got a farely lazy day at work today, which was a lovely change. plus i got to make scones. which was a doubley awesome thingy to happen. but the really awesome thing was that everyone liked my scones. even the suggestion of selling my scones to various restaurant patrons was thrown about.

so i'm reasonably happy that my plans of world domination are coming along wonderfully.

but i'm completely and utterly knackered.

and i have to be back at work tomorrow for a 7am-3pm shift. fun stuff, ey?

w00t.

Self-Proclaimed Scone King.

2005-10-19T22:52:00.000+10:00

uh-huh. you, dear reader, as my loyal and obediant subject should bow before my mighty presence. I have journeyed far beyond our borders into the "Territories of the Ingredient," a land filled with beasts most foul, and assistants most smelly. And I have over come many a dangerous quest and returned with the necessary items, that when combined in the correct order, and in the correct proportions, come together to create my power; the thing you all worship me for; beg me for...

SCONES!

now. beg me for one.

*insert begging of the peasants (that's YOU dear reader) here*

You are naught but cannon fodder in my plans for world domination. I have many weapons at my disposal.
Evil un-dead Zombie hordes? check.
Evil Robots? check.
Fleas? check.
Secrets Plans? check.
An overly dramatic and long winded manner of speaking? check.

See, I AM a good world dominator.

[insert manical evil laugh here]

w00t.

J-Dogg: the artist formerly known as Josh.

2005-10-16T22:31:00.000+10:00

just a short notice.

i am hereby to be known as J-Dogg, until further notice.

that is all.

NOTE: actually you can call me whatever you want. so long as i know that you be talking to me.

Madre de Dios! Es el Pollo Diablo!

Of happiness and trout.

2005-10-11T23:29:00.000+10:00

trout? how did that get in there. there are no trout contained within this blog entry, nor will there ever be any trout. trout are evil. happiness on the other hand is definitely worth talking about.

it's late, i'm reasonabley tired, i've got a bucket of skittles here so i'm kinda up on sugar, therefore this one will be a kind of reflective post, deep too, like that pond you were scared of a child. yes be afraid of me.

yeah, today was a great one for me. last week, was pretty boring because i was stuck in the house most of the week, which sucked royally. but this week has been so much better so far. i met a swag of randoms at church on sunday, which was awesome, got me some phone numbers as well, which is uber-cool. then i got to go to work on monday night, which was also good. i was actually looking forward to going to work, not only for the money, but for the social interaction. then today...well it was pretty dang good.

here's how my day went. got out of bed, which is always a good start i find. not much can be achieved from your bed, unless you've got voice activated robot minions. note to self: invent voice activated robot minions. anyway i got out of bed, and after screwing aorund on the net for a while i got all dressed up in my 'job-hunt' pimpin threads. which are cool, and totally scream "please give me a job and i won't have to squish your brain when i overthrow this planet and all of it's puny carbon based lifeforms" anyway i went around and gave potential employers my resume. then on my way home i ran into a friend, so we sat around and chatted for a while, then i went home rahter happy. which was quite a good thing. but then, i went to student life at uni, where i had an absolute blast!!!!! i was so hapy, so out there, definitely at my most extrovert. i was loud, racaus, and funny. so much fun. had a great time.

but yes, that is my tale of happiness.

there are no trout here.

oh my goodness....it's "art"

2005-10-09T15:05:00.000+10:00

yeah, here's a piccie i drew yesterday. click the pic to get a larger version. it's an ok piccie. i don't quite like the left arm, it doesn;t look quite right. but that aside, it's definitel ythe best piccie i've drawn in like...forever.

wow...4 months...

2005-10-09T12:50:00.000+10:00

uh-huh...i've decided that maintaining a blog, is a heck of a lot easier than maintaining a website. so yes, here it is, i present you guys with my blog once more!!!!! this is the...*counts on fingers*...third re-incarnation of this blog. it's died twice now, and i, the proverbial Dr. Frankenstein, am bringing it back to life once more. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

i cant promise much with this latest incarnation. a few bits of 'art' maybe a rant or two. my life has become ever-so boring of late, i won't fill ya'll in on the last four months, well i might...but not for now. to sum up the main points:

1.) i've taken this semester off uni, so i'm sitting around doing very little, apart from working.
2.) my best friend lives in sydney
3.) i've got a tattoo
4.) i'm still working as a dish pig at that restaurant.

that's all i can think of at the moment.

you all suck.

life is good for now....

2005-06-15T18:29:00.000+10:00

yes, life is indeed fairly good today.

plus, this blog has become somewhat...redundant. i have created a website of sorts. you can either follow the "deceitful monkey" link to the right, or you can follow this one

the only problem is that it will not (i'm not smart enough to code it in) allow comments. so you can email me with comments?

leave comments here with what you think.

peace out ya'll.

For the sake of blogging.

2005-06-14T17:35:00.000+10:00

yes, this is an obligatory post. i have been ordered by someone whos shall remain nameless *cough* cat *cough* darn phlegm.

so what to put in this post? well as you have no doubt noticed, i have done a bit of tweaking and put some links over on the side, i recommend you check them all out.

i have an exam tomorrow. so wish me luck. it is at 2:30pm and it's for Earth Sciences. i should at least pass it. but that's all i ask for.

i have very little to say at the moment, i'd much rather be left alone so my thoughts can stew about inside my brain, until they finally erupt in a massive explosions, killing thousands.

go away.

Lesson #1: Alcohol is bad...very, very bad.

2005-06-12T11:18:00.000+10:00

booyah!
bit more of a depressing/"lesson in life" style post for you guys.

well i've been out on the town again. yes, i only had 2.5 hours sleep, but a 6pack of [V] fixed all my woes. i had pretty much nothign to drink last night. but my friend forgot ot wear long pants, so he couldn;t get in anywhere. so him and myself went back to myplace so he could borrow some jeans. while we were gone (about an hour) my friend Aaron downed about $60 worth of alcohol. well, it wasn't entirely his fault, the others in our group kept buying him drinks. needless to say when we returned aaron was on an alcohol induced high, which ended fairly quickly. then he just turned into a drunken bum. i literally had to carry his drunken butt all the way home. i managed to get him into a taxi which took us to Subway at toowong (about halfway between the city and my place) because i was hungry. i hauled his bum into the subway and sat him down and got him some water; he was so out of it. the staff at subway were most kind about it all. they even gave me free cookies ^_^ good on ya mate, they went down well for breakfast this morning. he knows who he is, but he won't read this, but his friend will (you know who you are), so i trust you will thank him for me? cheers. anyway, after subway i hauled his bum across the road to the front of another pub so we could hail a taxi home. anyway, we have learnt that extreme drunkenness and movement do not go well for dear aaron. there is a trail of alcoholic vomit leading from subway to across the road where he sat down.

i tried to hail a taxi, but none of them would touch him with a ten foot pole, stupid taxi drivers. somehting about costing too much if he puked in the car.

eventually i got him sober enough (after an hour of sitting down and some water) to stand and he made it to the taxi ranks and into a taxi all by himself (he's a machine!). got him home at 2:30am and into bed. where he slept till9am this morning.

so basically Alcohol is Bad (write that down), and i got to play sober friend anbd look after his drunken butt all freakin night. oh well...a good lesson to learn i spose.

i think that's all.

i'm so tired. i woke with extreme jetlag this morning (you all know why), my eyes want to stay closed. but i know i won;t go back to sleep.

nehoo, study is a calling...

My two pearls of wisdom.

2005-06-11T16:43:00.000+10:00

yup....let me tell you about my friday/saturday

Friday:
woke up early. did study, worked from 3pm-10:30pm. then i jumped on teh internet for just a sec to check my emails and whatnot. anyway, my friend was on and we got talking. she wasn;t feeling well, so she went to lye down. she told me to phone her (who am i to argue with a girl?). so i did. we talked till three-freaking-thirty am. i promptly went to sleep after that.

Saturday:
I awoke at 6:00, after only 2.5hours of sleep, to be at work by 7am. i then did 8hours and 20 minutes of highly intensive dish washing labour, i tell you what, i am completely knackered. this then brings me to my two pearls of wisdom, as referred to in this entry title.

Pearl of Wisdom #1:
Never phone a friend late at night if you intend on doing anything early hte next morning.

Pearl of Wisdom #2:
Never wear a white shirt to dish-pig duty.

Yup, that's my two pearls of wisdom.

peace out ya'll.

The dishes will not clean themselves.

2005-06-10T23:25:00.000+10:00

pity...i really wish they could, but then i would be out of a job, so i spose it's not too bad a thing that they can't.

i don't know what i've got to say now.

my house mate officially sucks at washing up. i came out this morning, and was utterly disgusted with the job that had been done on the frypan...it was gross, there was still crap on it and init.

so disgusted that i promptly ran a sink of water and washed it again.

yeah, that's it...for now

And the Winner for the Stupidest Name on Earth is...

2005-06-08T13:23:00.000+10:00

hey guys, just a short post this time, with a correction to my last one.

teh blokes name is not johann griffith (like my housemates pronounce it). i've just been and looked up the fantastic four movie on the imdb website and it (get this for a stupid name)..

Ioan Gruffudd

HAHAHAHAHAHA...

SHUT UP JOSH!!!! It's Johann Griffith!!!!

2005-06-07T22:35:00.000+10:00

Well guys, i've been working again tonight. only 5 hours and 50 minutes though; we closed early.

i came home to both of my housemates watching Rove [LIVE] on tv. They never watch rove, the only reason they were watching it was because Rove was interviewing the cast for the upcoming fantastic four movie. Both of my housemates have this INSANE obsession with Johann Griffith (if that's how you spell it). he plays the role of Mr Fantastic in the movie. so when the interview was happening, Rove went around and interviewed the actors in turn. when rove got to Johann griffith, i made some smart-ass comment. i was promptly told to shut up, so to be a complete prat, i loudly went "LALALALALALALA" through the ENTIRE interview. I was having the time of my life.

they have something that can only be described as a completely illogical infatuatoin with this guy, it's positively disgusting. and they think guys are bad with 'pin-ups' and whatnot...

that's my rant for today.

Josh's PUBlic sojourn (MKII)

2005-06-05T12:45:00.000+10:00

well guys, josh has done it again, he's spent another successful night in the city.

twas a good night. but, he digresss. he must start at the start, and give you a bit of a run down of the last few days.

Friday:
friday was awesome. it was the last day of lectures for uni, so he is extremely pleased about that. josh is so over university. he couldn't go out on friday night to celebrate because he had to work at 7am the next morning. not only that but he got called into work the 4pm-close shift. which was good, another 6hr 45mins worth of money, so yay for him! but he has a very sore neck/back/shoulder, and needed a massage badly. very very badly. he didn't get to sleep till like 1:30 and he was up at 6. so he only had like 4.5 hours sleep.

Saturday:
saturday, by definition, stank. no, literally he stank after working. in case you haven't heard, he has a job washing dishes for a posh-ish cafe. josh spent 9 hours straight running around a kitchen washing dishes, unloading dishwashing machines, loading them again, hauling pot and pans around and standing at a sink scrubbing them also. he didn't even get a chance to have breakfast before going to work either. so he was a very very hungry boy by the end of his shift. on top of this he had to go straight from work and get ready to go over to a restaurant for a birthday dinner for a friend of mine. josh had to skip out early on the dinner (after not gettign to eat anyhting that could even be called a light snack) the reason for skipping? well he had to go and meet another group of friends to go pubbing. we only hit up 2 pubs, one was in the city and is an awesome pub, definitley his pub of choice so far. then he and his friends walked for 20 minutes into "the valley" which is not that good a place, despite what everyone says, full of scrubs and scrags. (harsh, he knows, but true) let him tell you about the two pubs...

Pub #1: Aurora's (pub of choice)
josh like this pub, it's the sort of place he would frequent. there is a live band (well there was last night) and they do awesome covers of great songs, very entertaining, very easy to listen to when you wanna have a quiet few. there were also some massage wenches (dan knows what i'm on about, if you don't then josh'll explain it at a later date, in another blog entry) there as well. so josh finally got a much needed massage. it also turn out that the fine (and he means that in every sense of the word) young lady that massaged him, is also in one of his courses at university. so yay for him!

Pub #2: Belushi's
not a bad place, music was a bit loud, too much smoke but a nice place none-the less. they stamp your hand upon entry...dunno why, there is no cover charge on the place...highly odd. the stamp is still on josh's wrist.

Pub #2.5: Birdee's...(strict dress code, scrubs only)
this place is below josh. he was OVERDRESSED. the stupid bouncer wouldn't let him in...so sad :(

Sunday:
so after being denied entry to Birdee's, Josh and the only friend left (the rest piked on him...SOFT) headed back into the city. they went back to aurora's for a quiet last drink of the evening. they left there at like 2:30 am and went back to josh's. despite that they didn;t get to sleep until 6am. josh woke at 8:30am after having had only 2.5 hrs sleep. he also woke up with a rather sore neck, most probably form the minimal dancing he did last night and sleeping with it at a funny angle. so now he needs another awesome massage.

so in the last few days josh has had 7hrs sleep, no food and a bit to drink. and yet he still feels great!

the joys of being youthful!

so yes, please take pity on him, and leave him all sorts of nice comments...

please?

My Life as a Twin-Tub Washing Machine

2005-06-03T14:27:00.000+10:00

if i were a twin-tub washing machine i'd commit harikiri (suicide, for those who are dumb)

i hate them...i hate them with a passion. i've just had to do my washing in a twin tub, and they suck. they get a 10 for water efficiency, but a 0 for time efficiency. you have to stick beside it the entire time.

anyway, i hate them. alot.

i passed my CMT, which i am extremely pleased about. i got 7 out of ten, which is only just a pass, but a pass none-the-less.

i have to work tonight. so couple the work tonight with the work i've done so far and with the work i have to do tomorrow (7am -3pm). i will have done 22-23 hours of work this week. yay for me. which should be a considerable amount of money come payday on monday.

i've got plans for these holidays. let me tell you about them.
1.) i'm going to re-arrange my room.
2.) i'm going to get broadband put in.
3.) i'm going to get buff

and i'm going to earn money. lots and lots of money.

then i'm going to take over the world!!!!!! mwahahahaha!!!!!

Poxy Planning Prevails

2005-06-02T20:41:00.000+10:00

again with my alliterative titles. geez, i'm smrat.

anyhow you all saw my plan for today, here's how my day really went...

Today:
06:00 - alarm went off, reset it for 7am
08:00 - woke up, realized i forgot to turn alarm on, rolled over went back to sleep
09:45 - got out of bed, had some headache tablets
10:45 - started my cmt
11:30 - got on bus to go to uni.
12:00 - erth1000 (earth science) lecture (last one this semester!)
12:55 - went to see friend and teach her some guitar
13:00 - friend wasn't there
13:03 - got on bus to come home
13:35 - got home and worked on cmt.

and here i am.

well i've done my cmt. and now i'm watching LOST. awesome show that is.

i had something really cool and important to say, but i can't remember what it was.

i'm hungry, i need me some food.

catchya's on the flipside.

Dope the Dishie

2005-06-01T15:17:00.000+10:00

yeah, that title is a variation on the "kiss the cook" apron. i want my slogan on an apron dammit!

i get to wear an apron to work (and at work), which is pretty cool. well the actuall wearing of the apron is pretty stupid, but the aprons are fairly cool. they are the waist down ones like cooks and waiters wear, so i get to feel special.

work was pretty good last night. i only did 3 hours so i was home by about 7:10pm.which was good. there was another dishie on so he finished up. but i get to do a complete close shift this evening. so it could not be until something like 10-10:30pm till i get home tonight. which is a bit of a pain. i have stuff to do tomorrow.

Tomorrow's Plan:
06:00 - wake up
06:30 - shower if need be, if not then breakfast
07:00 - do my washing and my chemistry CMT (computer managed test)
11:30 - get on bus (with guitar tuner...very important)
12:00 - erth1000 (earth science) lecture (last one this semester!)
13:00 - go see friend and teach her some guitar (now you know why i had the tuner)
14:00 - go get my chem CMT marked
14:05 - complain and bitch about CMT results with other dissatisfied students
14:45 - leave uni to come home
15:30 - arrive home and do whatever

as a friend of mine said, "wooot! for plan-age"

i like making plans, even if nothing really comes of them.

as for work last night. it was good. the people there are like a bunch of kids, they get on really well and it looks to be a fairly fun place to work. and ym assumption about that guy being gay was...(dun-dun-dun!) CORRECT!

he admitted it.

i'm over it...are you? GET OVER IT!

i bought some new shirts today. yay for me! just some straight black tee-shirts; for work they are. (yoda speak is cool ...mmm...new shirts i have, yes... hehehe)

i was working out again this morning. some buff-ness defintely happening.

hmmm....i think that's all the crap i've got to say at the moment.

cheers

bye all!

Check out my rippling muscles...

2005-05-31T14:32:00.000+10:00

say that post title with an austrian accent (ie. arnie)...guaranteed to make you laugh.

anyhho i was playing with my brother's old dumbell set this morning.

by playing, i mean working out, and by working out i mean sleeping.

but seriously, i was working out this morning, and (as all males do) i went and had a flex infront of the mirror and i have two things to note about my own physique. (spelling?)

Note #1
i am slowly but surely getting buff.

Note #2
I'm getting some funky vein-age happening in my hands, wrists and arms. this is a good thing. for those who are un-iniated, 'vein-age' is where the veins in said region are popping out. ie. they are visible and feel-able on the surface.

apart from that i have a job. (i think i mention that a few posts ago, but if not, then oh well) which i have to go to my FIRST shift at 4pm today, fun for me. i'm getting paid fairly well, so im not complaining. infact i've been wanting a job for a while now. i had one when i lived back at home with my parents, but now that i'm back at uni (and away from my parents and home town) i don't have one anymore. but now i do, so yay for me. plus this means that i get to stay in brisbane during the holidays which are coming up soon, which is good, plus i will be able to pay for essential things like broadband internet and feeding my dvd buying addiction.

anyways, i'll see you all on the other side of my first shift at work...

An iPod shuffle my way soon cometh.

2005-05-30T16:34:00.000+10:00

confusing title, yeah?

basically the crux of this is to inform my loyal minions that i shall soon be in possession of a free iPod shuffle. yes, the powers that make up the lecturing team for my genetics and evolution university course have decided that i am worthy to have possession of an awesome (and free) piece of technology.

how did i get this i hear you ask?

well...the course coordinater set up an online forums to allow the students (me) to debate and discuss topics relating to teh course. he (the course coordinator is male you see) then said to the student body, "i am setting up an evolution vs. creation debate, the person with the most posts at the end shall win a really really good prize"

the prize is the iPod shuffle. so within a few weeks i shall be rocking around town with my pimpin' new iPod.

w00t for me!

Bachelor No More: The Forgotten Bits...(GEH OWT)

2005-05-30T07:54:00.000+10:00

hehe, somehting i forgot to add to my last post about the buks party (gathering?) yesterday is the arnie references. we basically spent the entire day speaking like arnie and quoting lines from his movies, doesn't sounds very funny i know, but it had us cracking up the entire day, go on, do it now, just pick something and say it with an austrian accent, you won't be able to keep a straight face.

for startes try this line: "It's a Bomb, Everybody, Get out"

hilarious!

Bachelor No More: Under The Thumb (a tale of exciting tom-foolery)

2005-05-30T07:20:00.000+10:00

hey everybody, i had my brothers buks party on the weekend

we went to dreamworld for the day then had a bit of a gathering in the evening, but to start at the start...

The Start
We arrived at dreamwolrd (on the gold coast) at aorund 9:30 and got in at mates rates (HALF PRICE!!!!!) because marty's (the best man) wife used to work at dreamworld. anyway we arrived there and got pete (my brother) appropriately dressed, see the link below for a picture.

My Brother, the tool.

what oyu need to understand about my brother is that he is a superman freak. he is positively obsessed with everything that is superman. we (marty and myself) were even going to arrange some superman boxershorts for pete to wear on the outside the entire day, but we forgot. oh well i'm sure he felt embarrassed enough to be running around in a cape all day. but yeah, we went on all the big rides that dreamworld had to offer like the cyclone (a fully sik ride) the claw, the wipeout, the tower of terror (don't bother, tis rather crap) and the giant drop. not to mention the reptar ride and the mine ride. was loads of head spinning, stomach churning, extreme acceleration fun.

The Middle
after our day at dreamworld we went back to peter's place for a BBQ and the evening activities. pete was pleasently surprised to know that marty and i had arranged 2 xbox's connected to a projector each to be set up at his house. so after a hearty meal of sausage burgers, and some "how well do you know pete" as well as some embarrasing stories, we got straight into the 7 player halo2 deathmatch and two player need for speed:underground 2 racing action.

The End
after the bulk of people had left all that were left were pete, marty and dan (my most awesomest cousin ever) we stayed up playing more NFS:U2 and halo2 till about 2am, at which point i crashed and went to sleep.

so overall it was a good day. full of things i like to do most; (in this order) dance with almost certain death, and geek out with games. (with teh odd bit of eating and sleeping in there too)

but apart from that...i don't think there is too much else to be saying....hmmm...

I see gay people.

2005-05-27T12:10:00.000+10:00

by gay, i mean happy and by happy i mean homosexual.

gay people, they are everywhere. i have met two gay people in the last few days.

Gay Person #1
i had a haircut last saturday. i had a gay hairdresser. he did a damn fine job on my hair. it looks very spiffy, a much better job than the last haircut i had. *cough* mum *cough* not ot put my lovely mother down, but i liked my 'gay' haircut so much better. odd that.

Gay Person #2
this is up in the air. i'm not exactly sure whether this person is gay, but i spose i shall soon find out. i have recently go myself a job at a cafe across from where i live in brisbane. i was in there today and the bloke behind the counter was your stereotypical gay. he had the voice, the attitude and the homosexual hand waving stance. so i'm assuming he swings that way. either way i'm going to have to work with him, so i'll soon know.

that's all i have to say on that matter.

and to quote a most awesome friend of mine (you know who are) i'm "not my cheery self" today....don't know why, just me i spose...

peace out ya'll.

posters provoke pain...

2005-05-20T17:40:00.000+10:00

i'm quite prooud of my alliterative title.

i should be doing my assignment...but i'm procrastinating. i need to have it done in 6 hours.

i'm doing an all nighter...again...i've got a stupid group assignment due tomorrow. it sucks, i hate group assignments. well i odn;t hate them, but i prefer to do assignments on my own. i've had two group assignments lately. i'll do up some nice titles (followers of this blog know what i'm on about) for both these courses.

ERTH1000
this group assignment was pretty good. we got in, got it done with little to no farting around. we pretty much shared the workload around our group...cept for one bloke... all in all, definitely a redeeming experience for the world of group assignments.

GEOS1100
this group assignment by definition, blows and sucks at the same time. just like me to pick a group of dumb-asses. well that's not true, but none of them were gonna take control of the group and organize the poster, so it was left to me. i took control, asked for their occassional input and now i'm stuck doing all the bloody work. well this is what i'm doing (well, meant to be doing) now. i'm doing an all-nighter to get this stupid assignment finished.

let me tell you about this assignment. it's a poster. not an ordinary poster, but and A1 sized poster. (yes, they make paper that big) if you are having trouble picturing an A1 sheet of paper...well..it's the size of 8 A4 sheets of paper, so it's big. and we have to design a whole one of these. it's not all bad though, i get to exercise my photoshop skillz. i should not even include their names on my poster. yes...it is MY poster...all mine! [insert evil, maniacal laugh]

w00t for me and my tiredness.

i thought of another pet hate of mine the other day...something just as minor and petty and just as (if not more) annoying than my sink drying rack one.

time for an abrupt and random change of topic.

let me tell you a tale of intrigue, mystery and laughter. a tale that will leave you wanting more, a tale that have you positively wetting yourself with anticipation. i call it...

My PUBlic sojourn.
Notice the lovely hint in the title? can you guess the content? i doubt it. anway, onto the story. I was out with my friends last saturday night. we were in a pub. it was...meh. anyway my friend steve and i were standing at the bar waiting to get seved when this extremely short, and kinda drunk chick comes barging through. she pushes her way to her friend at the bar. she turns around and starts talking to my friend steve. then she abruptly turns to me, and says "you're shifty looking."
then i was all like "what are ya gonna do about it?"
then she was all like "kill you"
then i'm all like "so long as you use a chainsaw"
nah, i'm joking about everything after and including the "kill you" line.

so yeah, apparently i'm shifty looking according to the fountain of knowledge that is a random drunk chick in a pub.

wow....i managed to write quite alot of crap just then. not bad, specially for me.

hmmm...to publish now? or later? now me thinks. i can always create a new blog entry should i have anything of anyuse to say.

me and my pet hate (went to the shops right...)

2005-05-17T10:38:00.000+10:00

i'm freakin weird.

i realized this today. i could be a patient of Dr Phil.

[rant]

My Pet Hate:
people who do not stack the washing up drying rack proplerly. seriously, it bugs the absolute crap out of me. things have a certain order that they should be packed onto it in order to maximize the amount of stuff you can get on it. plus a well packed drying rack makes it easier to get stuff out of. i don;t like ot be mean...but both my housemates suck at doing this. well they suck at washing up full stop (they are getting better), but especially with stacking the drying up rack. it's freakin weird. they do (at least) three things wrong.

1.) they do not group items. they don't group thing like plates and cutting boards and bowls and cups together. this grouping makes life so much easier when putting the stuff away, not to mention that it fits better, looks neater and you can get alot more in there.

2.) They do not stack thing upright. the drying rack has little thing to allow plates and cutting board and large flat items to sit upright freely. they (my housemates) tend to lay them forwards and on top of each other, so if you want a bowl or something from teh bottom you have to lift everything up instead of just plucking it swiftly like some sort of super ninja from the drying rack.

3.) big, concave items like bowls and containers go around things. you can put them ontop of thing to maximize the amount ofstuff you can easily put onto this rack. obviously my housemates do not grasp this simple idea.

[/rant]

and thus ends the rant about my pet hate.

oh yeah...did i mention i live with two girls?

well....i'm bored...real bored.

2005-05-08T12:36:00.000+10:00

yah, bored i am.

i've got nothing to do, except uni work, and it's not a very appealing prospect...especially on a saturday evening.

so if you happen to be reading this...well then...i dunno...invite me to come do something.

tiredness stalked the frontal lobe

2005-05-06T22:50:00.000+10:00

this will be a short one. i have yet to go to sleep. i woke at at 12:15pm yesterday after a restful 8 hours of sleep. it's currently 5:44am.

5:45am

i'm so tired...i don;t know how i'm going to last another 12 hours...maybe i should get a few hours now before i have to go to uni...no...i have to finish this assignment, then put the final touches on my other assignment, then get to uni to hand them in. all before mid-day. good news though...this assignment is nearly done...i just gotta BS my way through 350 words at the most on an intro and conclusion...easy, i could do it in my sleep...

don;t say anyhitng, i realise the stupidity of that statement, if i could actually do it in my sleep i would be sleeping...

5:48am

on another note i have spent alot of time procrastinating over the last...12 hours. i've gone and got some pretty neat programs to make my computer feel a bit more like an apple computer, but with all the functionality and compatibility of a windows platform.

5:49am

i should get back to my assignent...

night all...well morning...

shut up.

I'm tired...oh so tired...

2005-05-05T20:24:00.000+10:00

well i'm going crazy from over-tiredness, eating crap and spending too much time in front of a screen.

WOOHOO! i'm going nuts!

For the past few days my sleep has been non-existant, my eating has been sporadic at best, and when i do eat, it's usually crap. i'm watching farscape at the moment (one of the best sci-fi show's ever) instead of working on my geography assignment. it's a 2000 word piece of literacy masterery and it's due at 5pm on friday (33hours 40 minutes and counting...). i've written about 600 so far. i have yet to go to bed tonight. i need sleep.

farscape is good. i shouldn't be watching it, instead i should be either sleeping or working on my assignment. when the series arrived the other day i told myself that i wouldn't watch it until fridaynight; when my assignment's were over.

(33hours 30 minutes and counting...)

I'm going crazy i tell you. c-r-a-z-y. yes crazy, i need to sleep.

sleep is good.

sleep is better than any carnal pleasure, well at this point it would seem that way. hey...i have bug on my wall...such a pretty bug...such a small bug...such a dead bug...

i'm sadistic.

i have a model of a tetrahedral atom sitting on my desk..so pretty...so mushed.

i feel like destroying something.

(33hours 15 minutes and counting...)

i don;t want to sleep, nor do i want to work on my assignment, i want to keep watching my farscape. but no, i shall sleep soon i shall sleep. and i shall sleep for a long time. i shall sleep till i can sleep no more, and i shall get some caffiendated provisions for thursday night so i can pull an all nighter. i shall then go to uni on friday and hand in my assignment. i've also got a chemistry practical that afternoon...so hopefully i can perform titrations without having had any sleep. it could be interesting. i'll also be hitting up the pub with some mates after my chem prac as i do after every prac. so that should be fun. then i'm gonna come home and hit up my bed for some serious sleep.

so much for being crazy as oppossed to being just plain....tired.

I Want a Tattoo.

yep. my home town recently got a tattoo parlour.

(33hours and counting...)

and i'm gonna get a tattoo. dunno what of yet, but i'm pretty sure it'll have something to do with monkeys. (in case you haven't noticed, i'm a fan of monkeys). that's the biggest decision, but i'll need to also decide where to get the tattoo done.

i'll get my crazy mood back one day...one day...not today, nor tomorrow probably...maybe on friday once i've surpassed this pitiful existance, and transcended onto a higher plane of obvious superiority.

ph34r my sleep-deprived state.

33hours 38 minutes and counting...

dies

2005-05-03T04:09:00.000+10:00

yep...i think that one day i'll make it into the darwin awards for my total stupidity. but yet, if we can't be stupid than how can we define our existence? how is our existence defined? is it this sad little time span where we occupy this hunk of rock floating through the infinite reaches of space? or maybe it is our self-delusion as a species that we are indeed the greatest thing since the creation of te universe?

nay, our existence is (i believe) defined by our ability to do some pretty stupid things on a regular basis...so i present for your consideration:

My existence so far...

my least severe moment of stupidity was almost the time i was being eaten alive by a german sheppard. huge dog it was...mind you i was climbing into it's yard...

next on teh list is my near-fatal encounter with a hot-water bottle. yes they are dangerous little suckers. i had one and fell asleep. in the morning i found a giganticly large blister on my foot. i drew a face on him and called him postulio (zim fans will know what i'm on about). anyhoo he burst (as all good blisters do) and got seriously infected. i could've died! i still have the scar... (willing to show to those who are willing to look)

in the middle of my list comes a terrifying tale of mystery, intrigue, a moving car and it's open door. need i say more?

fourth on the list is my encounter with ben franklin's discovery, electricity, when i was around four or five, i found a knife (some parents eh?) then i found a power point. you can guess what came next. a heck of a lot of sparks and one extremely scared and teary little boy.

then to top off my list of my existence defining moments, happened in grade 4. i found some bullets. and i found a vice and a hammer. i put all three together. the bullet went into the vice, the hammer went into my hand. i proceed to smack the top of the bullet with the hammer. so much fun...until KABLAM! the thing exploded. the only thing i can remember is hurt ears (i was doing it in a tin shed, so you may have to speak up around me) and a bright flash of light.

so as you can see i have yet to fully deine my existence (death) but i'm sure it's waiting around the corner, with open arms, just waiting to define my life.

that was depressing. on a much happier note...

...i have cancer.

OMG, it's been so damn long...

2005-05-02T17:38:00.000+10:00

since i've had a drink. nah...since i've posted in this forsaken little back-water of the internet.

much has changed since my last post. quite a damn lot infact.
i've since broken up with my girlfriend...can't remember when sometime in february i think.
i'm losing weight (always a good thing unless you're already a skinny little bone-bag)
i'm putting on muscle mass and getting some serious vein-age happening in my right arm.

anyway back to my usual crazyness.

once again i seem to be struck down with the dreaded empty-headedness syndrome...annoying little thing it is too...it always strikes at the worst of times...like during exams and speeches. i think it should be found and shot, then replaced with some kind of helper monkey with a super large brain full of ideas. i reckon that'd be awesome. not ot mention all the lice that he'd eat for me...damn lice.

ok, i'm gonna try something a little different here. i'm just gonna start typing and lets see where we end up.

nah, i tried that...wrote several sentence and realized what a load of crap it was...hmm lets see if a heading will help my cognative processes somewhat.

a title...a title that says what? something inspiring i feel...or just plain weird...

[Nothing Beats The Thin White Line of Euphoria]

hmmm....i think that's sufficiently weird enough to be attention grabbing....for now, undoubtedly i'll write something better in my next post (here's hoping).

so what does this title mean? hmmm....undoubtedly a drug reference, most definitely of the snorting variety.

OMG the empty-headedness is back...damn...i'm tired...i'm going to bed...soon-ish

hopefully my next post will be more entertaining.

the left shoe says hi!

2004-12-16T15:53:00.000+10:00

this title makes even less sense if you realize that im not actually wearing shoes o_O

*BEWARE: This Next Paragraph Contains Some Serious Geek Talk*

yeah anyway there is not much to report on the happenings of my life. although i have pretty much decided to do some case-modding on my computer. im thinking of doing some painting here, adding a fan there, some new fans grills an extra light or two...yeah... i reckon that it'll spruce my case up my case nicely indeed.

*Geek Talk Over*

ok...well im seriously disappointed in my loyal following of fans (all two of you) for not emailing me telling me that im crazy, nor has anyone emailed me with ideas about topics for my posts.

very seriously disappointed. somehow i doesn't think that that sentence made much sense, neither did that one. oh well, when you are me, its kinda hard to use proper english (im just so darn lazy, you see?)

so now, due to the laziness of my loyal fan following, im am once again at a loss of what to right about. so be prepared for any old crap. be prepared indeed...

but what exactly am i asking you to be prepared for? do i know something that you don't? quite probably, however i seriouly doubt that it'll be something that would be worth preparing for. maybe i have inside knowledge about what is going to happen in your area that will directly affect you and the lives of those you love...highly doubtful. perhaps i am psychic to some degree? once again, highly doubtful. however im pretty sure that im asking for you to be prepared (so as to not be disappointed) with whatever i manage to come up with in my posts.

so here goes...

The REAL start of this Post.
ok, well my empty brain disease hasn't got any better since my last post, so in order to find some inspiration im gonna go and look through some old stuff, in the vague hope that i will find something inspiring.

*back in a tick*

*tick*

*is back*

so im back. i found a few interesting things. i found some old computer parts which i could ramble on about how far computer technology has come in the last few years, and then sit back and laugh at how stupid their predictions were about computers were then bask in the glory of a post well written. however since i have already closed the "Geek Talk" paragraph, that topic (being considered geeky by the wider community) is off-limits.

i did find an old notebook where i used to write down any ideas that i had and any designs that came to my mind. and i can sum it up in one word...lame...and geeky, so once again i can't talk about it here.

infact most of the stuff in my room revolves around being considered geeky.

apart from my guitar, so let me tell you how this particular guitar came into my possession.

well it was a bright and sunny day when i felt like learning guitar...again (long story, for another day and another post). i found that right near where i was living at the time there happened to be a cash converters store, so i went and checked it out. and i found this great guitar. it was like a siren song calling out for me to plunge headlong into the seas of acoustic guitar learning by using is bodice as a platform from which to launch. so i forked out the cash and got myself the guitar, a tuner and a case. it a great guitar, sounds pretty good (nowhere near as good as my cousins fender acoustic) and i've learnt a few things on it. it has served me well.

and that's the story of how i ended up with a $125 guitar from cash converters.

peace ya'll.

the computer wore cement shoes.

2004-12-14T15:02:00.000+10:00

yep thats right i've been playing with cement all day today. its been fun, and i've decided that im gonna change my name to vinnie, don (no pun intended) an italian accent, move to america and take up a job as a fitter of specialized and custom cement shoes. however there are several things standing in my way; the lack of monetary funds for starters, not to mention the fact that well...i couldn't really be bothered.

and so ends my life as a pseudo-italian mobster.

once again i have fallen into the trap of writing absolute and utter crap in my blog instead of writing something that is deep meaningful and worthwhile to read. hmmm...mnaybe i could start a rant about how much i hate society again, but i've been down that road and well, its a kinda old topic...i need a new topic suggestion...something worthwhile, something deep and something that will raise the hair's between your toes in interest.

however for now i shall simply have to make-do with what ever comes to my mind.

[insert thinking music]

wow, i just realized how freakin' empty my brain is of ideas at the moment. maybe it is the extreme lack of sleep, or maybe the apathy that has somehow permanently and silently found its way into my subconsious or perhaps even a bad diet...or maybe i just don't have enough inspiration to write anything at the moment. i've have literally been sitting here for several minutes and the only thing that has come to my mind is waffles. well thats not entirely true. the first thing that came to my mind was...nothing absolutely (or absolutely nothing, depending if you want you words around the right way). i looked deeply into the recesses of my brain for something to write about and all i got was a blank stare from my inner being...hmmm...my inner being...that is a strange term to use...and what exactly does it mean and imply? does it imply that there is infact another being or entity living within my body? and is this other entity (if it does really exist) a phsycological entity? or a physical one that would burst forth from my chest (eg. ALIENS style) at the most in-opportune time spraying all around in chunks of my flesh, bone and entrails? that would be a rather amusing scene...i think it would look (or play out) something like this:

hot girl : hey, i like you, your so good looking
me : yea, i know, you don't need to tell me, baby
hot girl : so what are you doing tonight?
me : not a great deal, just chillin' infront of the tv
hot girl : yeah? me too, maybe we could chill together?
me : sounds go...

[my chests erupts in a brilliantly graphic display of bone, flesh and guts as my inner being bursts forth.]

me : sorry about that, its my inner being you see, he's a very naughty inner being, aren't you?
inner being : yeah, i am...[twirls foot on ground and looks all innocent]
hot girl : wow, you look so sexy with your inner being just hanging out of that gaping hole in your chest...lets go back to my place and get you cleaned up...

and thats the story of how my inner being broke free...not very pretty is it? so lets use some common sense here...if my inner being were a physical entity that just happened to be trapped within my body, then it would be safe to assume that other people have an inner being too, and considering that there are no recorded incidents similar to that above, then it would be safe to conclude that there is no physical entity.

this means that its all in my head.

which would mean that im crazy.

which would also mean that everyone else is crazy too.

which would mean that im perfectly normal.

phew, that was close. for a moment there i thought that i had proved my own craziness.

well, until next time i bid thee adieu and goodbye and ciao.

inner being : bye everybody.
hot girl : is this post over already? its so lame.
me : shutup, i tried
inner being : no you really suck, i so wouldn't burst forth from your chest, that'd most likely kill you. im more likely to come out of an already available hole in your body...it would have to big enough to fit me though...and no, im not thinking of your mouth...try...the other end...
me : inner being, you are so gross, and you so would burst forth from my chest...remember that time that you did? you scared the be-jesus out of that poor clown
inner being : well he deserved it he sucked at being a clown, even more than you sucked at writing this post.
me : that's it![strangles inner being]

*inner being dies*

maybe i am crazy? send me your opinon at cookiemonster445@hotmail.com

the return of the monkey ambassador

2004-12-13T13:12:00.000+10:00

yet again i have decided to update my blog, and again with a totally un-related title. but hey, it is MY blog and therefore i can do whatever i really feel like doing with it.
anyway this blog is supposed to be about my life, and well i don't really feel like writing about that (it's so darn boring) so instead i'll just ramble on with my usual mookey matter.
actually speaking of mookey matter, well not really speaking, but on the topic of mookey matter. in fact not reallyon the topic of mookey matter...maybe just on the occurance of mookey matter..yeha that sounds better...mookey matter...what was i gonna say about it? darn i've forgotten...oh well it can't of been too important.

the monkey ambassador is a nice bloke, he drops around every so often hangs from any available object and eats all of my bananas...not to mention the mess he leaves behind...infact i don't really like the ambassador...he's a bit of a pig...well monkey to be precise, but who's really care's? i know i'm pretty sure that i don't.

yeah...that topic's going nowhere.

hehehe i was working at the place of kentucky fried chicken last night (doing a close shift) and i got to take home a heap of leftover chicken. i can feel the grease congealing in my stomach and staying there for ever and ever. its not a nice feeling.

hmmm...i'm out of random crap to say and random crappy story's and anecdotes to give. i can't even make my tired and burnt-out synapse's connect in such a way to invent some half-thought-out plan for writing crap.

this is one of the most pointless and non interesting posts i've written. its not very entertaining either.

peace ya'll, im off to do something far more interesting.

Yargh! there be pirates off the port bow!

2004-12-09T19:10:00.000+10:00

yep thats right, i have decided that pirates are permanently off my port bow, with the odd exception that they may sometime shift to the starboard bow. i figure that this is a very good position to be in. i am (or will be) constantly looking for ways to evade slip around or conquer the pirates, but with no avail...
...infact, this is almost an analogy for life...with the pirates being your most certain and (hopefully) gruesome death. everyone is always looking for ways to evade the "pirates" (death) with doing things like cosmetic surgery (we love you the way you are!), botox injections and different creams, pills and ritual animal sacrifices. however i prefer ot have fun and be lively, that will always keep me young. however there is another possible explanation for the pirates being off my port bow...and here it is...

i like talking like a pirate.

yep, it's that simplel...plus that is a much more plausible reason for me having that swashbuckling title.

i also like talking like a french man. its comes easy for some reason. but you know what...im over it.

im off to plunder, pillage and set fire to innocent 19th century villages, not to mention the wenches...oh for the want of a wench.

The confusing life of monkey mucus

2004-12-08T21:33:00.000+10:00

Yeah, i though this title was sufficiently weird enough to grab people's attention, while at the same time having absolutely nothing to do with my post, other than being the title of course, but yeah, it has nothing to do with the actual CONTENT of this post. anyway onto teh mis-adventure of what i like to think of as a life.

oh yeah, on a side note, i've decided to say good bye to punctuation and spelling and say hello to internet spelling and l33t speak. so please bear with me during this painful transition.

so yeah... i went shopping today, didn't buy myself much though, bought other people stuff, but not a great deal for myself. christmas...its such a marketing tool for over-worked and underpaid parents to give into teh whining and wanting of their accidental children. it also a great time for parents to cause much anguish and mental scarring to their children. i see it like this:
child 1 wants a great toy. child 1's parents deny child 1 the toy because it is too expensive and they are apparently "too poor" (more on this later). child 2 however gets toy. child 1 is jealous and beats up child 2 and steals toy. this will continue for the rest of child 1's life (being the bully that is) and eventually lead him/her into a life of criminal activity, and due to his poor genetic material and probable conception in the backseat of a vehicular transport, he is the sort of criminal who will get caught because he left his name and address on a deposit slip when he robbed the bank. and yes onto my point earlier about his parents being poor (this will turn into a rant about how much i hate society). and i think i had better start a new paragrah.

there we go...and maybe a heading (gee i love formatting :P)
I Hate Society.
so yeah now that i've got a nice pretty title, lets find some inanle stupid ranting to make it worth all the effort of doing.
yes, its true, i hate society in general. don't get me wrong i love people and i love stuff, but society as a whole i loathe and despise it and wish it would find a nice damp corner, curl up and die like a rabbit hit by a roadtrain. no seriously, i do...and here's why...
well maybe its not society tha ti hate, but maybe more specifically certain entities that like to consider themselves members of this all to inclusive club. you know who im talking about. dole-bludgers, underage (and accidental)-parents and the derro's of society, not to mention the fat dirty people. im talking about teh dirty people who don't wear shoes, and choose to spend their all-too-little government handout on (and i've seen this first-hand) booze, chips, smokes and other items of self destruction. serioulsy i used to work at a supermarket and thursdays was pension day (the day when the government gives out money to those in "need") and we would always get a flood of old people who could lose a walking race with a snail, and the derro's. i would look on in awe as they (the derro's) walked around the shop with at least 3 kids in tow (more on teh kids later) i would also watch what they had bought when they went through the checkout and no joke, their whole shopping trolley was full of chips, coke and lollies. you might find the occassional slab of meat of microwave dinner, but nothing with any real nutritional value. now don't go calling me a healthy eater, beacuse i have no problem with eating junk food at all... but i see families (if you can call them that) like this i and its no wonder why families like this are like this. ok...im bored of this topic...onto ranting about something else...the kids for now i think...
i would just like to say a big kudos to all teh bad parents out there who let their children get pregnant at an age when they have no need, want nor income to support the children.

yeah im over it for now, my girlfriend has come online so im gonna go and talk to her now.

until next time...keep it in your breastpocket.

w00t! I can Post!

2004-12-08T14:47:00.000+10:00

Yes...that's right I can post...how exciting is this? yeah, you're right...not very. Oh well I guess you'll have to live with it. Anyway, I suppose I should get onto...explaining...stuff...about me and the like.

Well lets see...im 19, have a girlfriend of 2 months and 4 days (but who's counting?)...

Wow...I really suck at this whole writing thing...I mean this is boring. (not boring to write, but boring to read, I'm sure)

Anyway, I'm currently sitting at home typing this post on my pc, after a day of working at KFC. Yeah, I work at the place of deep fried poultry. Oh boy, I could tell you many things about what goes on behind the scenes and how it's cooked and what exactly goes into it, but then I'd have to kill you...not that I wouldn't mind killing me a few people...its just that this shirt is very new, and I'd hate for it to get so bloody so soon...maybe in a few days time though. ok...enough of that sidetracking-ed-ness, back to the story (was there a story?) So yeah...screw this...I'm going to get me some food.